It is quite a hassle being as stupid as I am sometimes.
Being stupid means that, no matter how long I think about something, I never seem to come to a definitive conclusion. Because there always is some new shred of information, some new feeling on what I might be considering at the time, sometimes I start to think over something else and lose track of where I started.
Being stupid means feeling alone in a world of smart people who all are well aware of the right answers to complex questions, the right path to take during confusing and chaotic times, because when you are the only idiot in the world, you only have your own foolishness to depend on. Because the smart person knows exactly what measures to place to keep things secure.
Being stupid means you hold all speech to have equal importance. Including your own. The smart person knows that some speech is simply not tolerable and is offensive, and should never be allowed, and should be violently resisted if necessary. The smart person knows their own speech is of a higher caliber than that of others, and should obviously never be censored.
Being stupid means being afraid of things that nobody should ever be afraid of. Afraid that your closest friends harbor hateful thoughts of you or that these friends might one day simply abandon them. The stupid person is afraid that complete strangers either see right through them, as if they’re not even there or, worse yet, can look at them and in one second know everything that is wrong with you and know that you are not worth their time. Because of course the smart people in this world know the flaws and imperfections in all the other people. The smart person has no such fears, after all, why else would they boast and grandstand if not for a complete sense security in themselves? And why else would the stupid person stay quiet if not because of the foolishness that is their thoughts and ideas?
Yes, being stupid truly is an awful existence, and yet, being stupid gives you a unique ability that is lost on all the smart people in this world, the people who know what is going on, the people who know what to do, and what others should do.
Being stupid means that, because of the fear one has, you can see the fear in others. The stupid person can recognize when another stupid person’s boasting and grandstanding is merely empty words from a terrified ignorant fool. The flawed and imperfect person can look at those pretending to be flawless and know that their flaws are deeper even than their own. Being stupid means thinking that, when your close friend abandons you, that he has traded you for lesser companions, and that your time is wasted in dwelling on it.
Being stupid means that you can look at those claiming that speech should be censored and know that they are hypocrites. Because they would cry havoc if their own speech was ever stifled. Being stupid means you can look at the deceptive “champions” of free speech and know they too are hypocrites, because they would just as readily censor if it suited their needs. Being stupid means thinking that all speech and all ideas are equal and should be heard, without fear for violence or slander. And that the answer to disagreeable speech is simply more speech instead of more violence.
Being stupid means that, when you see dishonest and incompetent people asking for trust and declaring they know what to do, that you can laugh in their face and know that in fact, they know nothing. And what’s worse, they claim to know everything. Being stupid means that you are alone in being able to see the stupidity in others because you are blatantly aware of the stupidity in yourself. So aware in fact, that you can see the same stupidity in others.
Being stupid means that while I ponder and obsess over countless things and rarely find answers, I can be secure in knowing that all the “smart” people in this world are even further from finding any answers than I am.
It is quite a hassle being as stupid as I am sometimes, but at least I am smart enough to know how stupid I really am.